You Can Do It!

Natural Hair & Self-Acceptance: Passing It On

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Back in January I watched a YouTube video of a child whose hair had been permed when she was 9 months old (initially not by the mother, but she continued to relax the child’s hair).  9 MONTHS  OLD!  Has the world gone mad?  At 3 years the child had a bald spot the size of a tennis ball in the middle of her head. The story was later discussed on the BlackGirlLongHair blog - click here to read the post.

I was so upset by the thought that someone would put these chemicals on the scalp of a child who has not even seen four full seasons go by yet!  Why would somebody do that?!  Miseducation?  Laziness?  Or just straight up fear of some kinky, highly textured hair?  A desire to 'assimilate' on steroids unconsciously internalised, hiding behind seeking ‘more manageable hair’?  Maybe I’m going too deep, but things like this really get under my skin. 

One thing that excites me about the growth and proliferation of the ‘natural hair movement’ is the thought that one day, hair texture will not be seen as a hurdle, an obstacle, a hindrance, a negative, something that takes away from a young girl’s concept of her self.  The hair you were born with, and the way it naturally grows out of your head whether straight, loosely curled, wavy or tightly coiled should be a ‘yay’ plus point, or at the very least a non-issue. 

To an extent yes it is just hair, and in the grand scheme of life’s priorities there are much more important things to be concerned about, but what if… What if the features that come with your ethnicity are just considered 'unappealing'?  What if 'you’re a pretty girl but a perm would just take you to the next level'?  What if you’re 'pretty for a dark-skinned/big/short-haired chick'?  What if everything and everyone around you has only ever fed and reinforced these messages?   That whiter is righter, 'light-skinned girls are more pretty', that 'n****a hair ain’t never gonna grow, girl you need a perm!'  It's sad but this negative (sometimes internal self-) talk and insults are still commonplace.  The madness that starts and propagates these thoughts has to stop.  We have to create a new dialogue with the next generation, stop pinching babies’ noses and saying ‘you’re so black!’ as a put-down!

Point is, that as each of us sings our lovesong for our natural hair, that we might impact someone somewhere to accept themselves as is.  There’s a whole world waiting to force its ideas and ideals onto the blank canvas’ of our children’s growing minds.  Make sure the picture you paint of them from the earliest moment is one where they are more than acceptable or just making it, but rather perfectly made blessings.  I thank my Mummy and Daddy for that.

Singing my natural lovesong always,

Pooks

Hubby vs Hair Health

There’s no other way to start this post off than by saying credit is due to my DH (dear hubby) because he doesn’t make a big deal out of my hair obsession; partly because he loves my hair almost as much as I do but… there comes a time when I gotta choose - my boo, or my hurr.  Boo, hurr, boo, hurr, lol. What does one have to do with the other you ask?  Well... extended periods of trying to be cute, chucking protective styling out the window for vanity’s sake, doin ‘the grown up’ sans satin scarf so you don’t wanna kill the mood, allowing him to play in my hair alot (my ends mostly aswell!) does take its toll, usually in the form of an army of SSKs that appear like stealth bombers overnight lol.

Some would say well isn’t the point of growing your hair to to enjoy it and be creative with it and in turn be attractive to your husband?  Well yes, but… I guess it depends what your hair goals are and how close you are to achieving them.  As for me, I definitely want more length (hubby loves how much I have now, but is intrigued with the thought of having more to play with, haha).  So in the interests of maintaining my sexy, do I slap his hands away, wear my satin scarf like a second skin 24/7, protective style alllll the time with no breaks?  Earlier in my journey, it did kinda feel I was trying to walk a tightrope between keeping my goal of longer hair on track, as well as maintaining my sexy/keeping hubby happy, now I am a little more relaxed about it.  Hey, it’s a journey…

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Thought for the Day...

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centred; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway.

Kent M. Keith

Getting Out Of Your Own Way

Something I read today:

"Dang, this could be a sign that someone else sees my ability and I might not have an excuse any more to sit on [insert talent/gifting here]. Shoot! I hate when something fun now becomes fearful just because someone recognizes it."

This resonated so much with me.  I really need to get outta my own way sometimes.  Do you need to do the same?  God wants to use you; yes you!  /you already have the unique calling He created you with on the inside of you.  You know it.  You feel most alive when you're walking in it, people are blessed, don't sit on it!

Wow.

LORD help me be grown enough to do what your will is, develop thicker skin or selective hearing if necessary. Not my will...

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Another post sharing similar sentiments:  http://www.maneandchic.com/2011/03/getting-in-your-own-way.html

I hate US Naturals! (hmph)

OK OK so I don't really hate US naturals, I just hate that I don't have the ability to walk down to Sally's and pick up the latest hottest thing on the hairboards.  I'm mad that I gotta pay through the nose in GBP for my favourite products and possibly get hit by big shipping and sometimes even customs charges on top!  I'm mad because all the hair show and multiple meetups you'll find over there just don't come around as often in the UK.  I'm especially mad at all the Etsy stores with cute hair-friendly accessories with all the vendors based in the States so the UK prices are inflated and then you gotta add shipping again!  I know I shouldn't be, but I am a little jealous...


I wanna ask my fellow UK naturals, where do you go fo fabulous n fly accessories in the UK cause really all I see is bland or expensive most places I look.  I love a gorgeous flower in my fro as much as the next fly natural!  Anybody know of budding hair accessory makers in the UK?  If yes, hit me up in the comments section!

Introducing my baby...

Every new acquisition of mine, something I love, gets dubbed my new 'baby' - my latest phone, my first car, my laptop... and now, my blog - ta daaaah!  (Did you hear the music?  I did..)

Writing a song is…. well... it depends really.  If you’re a natural lyricist, they can just roll off the tongue onto a waiting page.  A singer? A melody may just come bubbling up out of you, sending you running for something to record it onto (this is how it happens to me usually). 

There are sad songs, there are songs that help you vent frustration, songs which celebrate all things happy and positive, songs that create more questions than they answer, and songs that just take a snapshot of something current – no commentary, no analysis, just ‘this is what it was today’.

This blog is where I’ve chosen to share some of my love songs; love songs to natural (tightly coiled, kinky, curly) hair, my faith in God, also uplifting words and music, food / health information, weight journey updates, and anything else I feel like sharing.  Natural hair thoughts, good days and bad, experiments, musings, milestones, all that good stuff.  Welcome to my new online home!

Peace and love

Pooks

PS -  Hair Story  |  Fotki  |  YouTube